Sexual or not?

A lot of people ask me if I’m aroused by being spanked. The answer is yes and no. I will do my best to explain what I mean.

I used to be quite the feminist, as hard as that may be to believe. I’m fairly dominant in all aspects of my life. I like being in a position of power. That being said, part of me always craved something different.

I have been aroused by the thought of spankings for as long as I can remember. I thought I was a freak, so I never entertained the idea that I liked spankings. I assumed it was a simple interest. I was mistaken.

The biggest reason I wanted spankings, was because I needed someone to be above me. My parents spanked me, but not often. The spankings hurt, but I felt as if everything was better after, and I felt like a good girl.

But I was great at getting out of discipline. I was a pretty cute kid after all. 😉 But because I lacked firm discipline, I became rather spoiled. I craved that submissive feeling and the “good girl” feeling after. I knew I was spoiled but didn’t know how to change. I considered asking them to spank me again but was too embarrassed.

Finally I turned to the concept of dd. Something about submitting to the man you love is appealing. Does it turn me on? Yes it does. For whatever reason, I am aroused when I know I’m to be bent over and spanked.

When I’m actually being spanked, I have to admit that I do get moist between my legs. Why that is, I have no idea, because disciplinary spankings hurt. When I’m being spanked, all I can think of is how much it hurts. I often don’t notice until after that I’m wet.

So yes, the idea and anticipation of spankings arouse me. Merely thinking about it gets me quite aroused. But during the spanking, it is discipline, and I feel bad for disappointing my boyfriend. My body reacts, but during disciplinary spankings, there is nothing further from my mind than sex.

After a spanking, it is natural have a deep connection with your partner, and to feel aroused. I usually cry for a while and cuddle with my man, but usually we do end up making out and whatnot. (We aren’t having sex until marriage)

I hope that makes sense 🙂

Courtney

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